You are actually in total control of how you are feeling right at this moment. In fact, it is the ONLY thing you are totally in control of ever. So, let’s take advantage of that fact, shall we?
In life, we are constantly changing as is the world around us. Nothing ever stays the same, nor is it supposed to. We must absolutely find ways of adjusting and adapting and figuring things out. As human beings, we have these amazing brains which allow us to solve problems and avoid most injuries. However, those same amazing brains like to try to keep us safe to such a degree that we experience way more fear than is practical at times.
If you keep waking up with that sinking feeling of dissatisfaction towards what your day holds, you are probably settling for some kind of lifestyle that your brilliant brain feels is safe, appropriate, allowable, and acceptable. And usually, that means BORING.
We need to be constantly involved in the Growth Cycle of our lives! We yearn to be learning and expanding because intuitively we feel a sense of atrophy and entropy when we remain the same for too long.
Now, listen, I get it, change is scary because we can’t predict the outcome. Change makes us nervous because many aspects of it are beyond our control. And then, there are the real times when we actually fail.
I am intimately familiar with failing.
I joke, although it’s true, that I lived through everyone’s worst nightmares by the time I was 35 years old. You name it, I somehow survived it. Marriage, divorce, birth of children, death of loved ones, financial success, bankruptcy, owning a business, being sued, moving across the country and starting over. Over and over.
Over the years, if there is one thing I know for sure is that what happens to us need not define us. Our net worth is not at all a reflection of our self worth. Labels only have the meaning which we give to them. And other people’s opinions can not kill us.
We are ultimately completely in control of how we feel.
I have had some great advice from lawyers and friends over the years which did wonders to help me reframe my mindset about what I was dealing with. For example, when I was being sued by a past employer, my lawyer said to me “Well, you know you’ve hit the big time when someone sues you! If you’ve got his feathers ruffled that much it means you are really good at what you do. So congratulations!” He also reminded me over and over that litigation is NOT personal. Litigation is business only. It has nothing to do with me as a person, it has everything to do with power and money. Those pieces of advice gave me a different lens to see the situation through. A positive lens. An empowering lens!
You see, how we decide to view the things that are happening in our lives is 100% in our control. We can look at our circumstances as blessings or curses. We really get to choose the meanings that everything has in our lives.
This is powerful stuff!
If you are waking up unhappy day after day, in my opinion, you have two choices:
- Keep doing what you are doing and quit complaining. None of us want to hear it when we know damn well you could do something to make your situation better. Even if that something is simply changing your story and mindset around it.
- Actually make a change. Move to a new state. Change jobs. Start your own business. Eliminate the negative friends you dread hearing from. Ask for a raise. Go to the gym. See your doctor. Paint your living room a different color. Hire a coach. Take a vacation. Write a poem. Learn to meditate. But first of all, tell yourself it is going to be ok!
Everything is going to work out the way it is supposed to in it’s own perfect time. You must be proactive in the process, however and keep pitching for the things you want.
If you don’t know what you really truly want, I suggest you get out a journal and do the Perfect Day exercise.
Meanwhile, get some support. We are not meant to live in isolation and depression! We are meant to feel joy and love and connection!
Talk to people who are skilled at re-framing issues into a positive light! There are many of us who love to see your light shine and want to help. Just ask us. It’s a delight to see you grow into the next phase of you.
Peace and Love,