As I was speaking with a potential new client last week, I found myself engaged in a very familiar conversation. The woman I was speaking to, let’s call her Meg, was wondering what she could eat at night that wasn’t gluten or dairy based because she was always STARVING at night. And craving gluten and dairy. Which by the way, she LOVES.
This is how so many conversations go when we start discussing food. The emotional words come flooding out and dominate the conversation. We love it, we feel guilty because it’s “bad” for us, we are disappointed because we did so “good” all day, only to eat 1200 calories of ice cream at 10pm. It’s so HARD (I hear this daily). And it gets harder as we get older. I’m desperate for a solution. What can I eat?
Let me go over this slowly and clearly:
1. Food, like money, has no reciprocal emotions for you. If you are pining away over a cookie, you are wasting precious energy that could be put to way better use in other areas of your life. It’s not the cookie, or the gluten within, that is “bad”. The only negative thing about that cookie is your response to it! It’s just sitting there getting stale. Your inner argument has no effect on said cookie. It will continue to oxidize willingly. Your job is to decide to either give yourself permission to enjoy eating the cookie and eat it without guilt OR to decide you don’t like how you feel when you eat sugar and how your clothes fit when you eat too many calories and turn away from the cookie. It’s not hard. It’s an easy decision. Yes or no. Make the decision and move on with your life.
2. Food is not inherently bad. No food is “bad” for you. Granted, you may be allergic to certain things and in that case you should not put those things in your mouth. Be responsible for your health! But that same food might be perfectly fine for your friend to eat. The food itself is not bad. Your reaction to it could be. Whether it is a physical, allergic reaction or an emotional, guilt-filled reaction it is up to you to learn how to avoid toxins. Figure out your trigger foods and eliminate them. (Side note: some food is not actually food, for instance, Velveeta is not real food, it is a “Processed Cheese Product”. Please read labels!)
3. You have to change your food story if you ever want to be free. This is where the rubber hits the road hard. As I was talking to Meg she was open to me giving her alternative phrases to use instead of her current negative story. For instance, she was saying it was harder to lose weight as she got older. I offered that she might say instead how much easier it is to lose weight as she got older since she knew her body so much better. With knowledge comes power. Instead of Meg saying how much she loves bread, she can instead mention how much she enjoys including fresh bread in her diet. That is the truth, after all. She enjoys bread. She just needed to know how many calories of bread she was eating and then give herself permission to enjoy it!
Listen, Gluten and Dairy don’t sit around over a glass of wine and moan about how bad they feel about you ignoring them! Life is meant to be enjoyed, and food is huge part of our human experience. If you want to make some extra rules for yourself about what you can and can’t eat or what it means to weigh a certain amount, go ahead. But don’t expect anyone else to know those rules, care if you break them, or tempt you with things you believe to be “bad”.
When you are ready to change your food story, learn about your body on a deeper level, and create a sustainable lifestyle please reach out to me! We can quickly get you on a new path. http://www.meetwithcarolyn.com
Meanwhile, listen closely to your inner conversation and mindfully decide if it is still serving you.